We plan events, have coffee times before services, make people shake hands for 5 minutes...you know all of the tricks.
But can true community that people are looking for ever really be planned?
We have a small group that gets together once every-other-week. It's a great time. We talk, eat, study, discuss, and play Seinfeld TV games. I can assume that we genuinely enjoy all of our time together.
But is that community? or just an enjoyable evening together? Is there a difference?
For me, true community is when people begin to naturally interact and flow together in the midst of daily life - when you can go to someone's house without a reason, just because you feel like being with them, when you can spontaneously call and talk through an issue at the moment you are experiencing it -without waiting until your next get-together.
Don't get me wrong, small groups, coffee time, and even the 5 minute handshakes are great on-ramps to community, but let's not mistake them for the real thing.
Community means getting messy, vulnerable, and a little out of control at times. But that's the beauty!
Your thoughts?
Exactly. With my husband, my best girl friend, and my mom, I don't need an official reason to call them up or drop in to their home or office. I experience the kind of community you describe with these people. And you're right in pointing out that church functions are a good way to begin a community-type relationship. I met my best friend in a church small group, and our relationship grew from there, but the small group setting didn't provide the real community we now share. It only facilitated it. I guess the hope is that, by providing all these church social situations, people will eventually get to real community.
ReplyDeleteright on, lisa. hopefully churches can continue to provide those opportunities. there has to be intentionality, though, in the programming to lead people toward self pursuit of community, or else people can become too comfortable in the structured environment to branch out on their own.
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